Friday 24 April 2020

descriptive writing


4 comments:

  1. You have done some great writing there Lochlan. I can imagine how the costume might feel as you said it is soft and I know what creepy means so I can see what you mean when you use that as well. You have done two pictures, that is fantastic keep up your fantastic work.

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  2. Hi Lochlan
    Wow, you have been super busy, completing two desciptions, well done Lochlan! I really like your first sentence -"Hot fire is orange and yellow' In the second picture I like the sentence 'Deep, dark and gloomy'. Both of the sentences that I like really set the mood. Was it hard for you to pick what picture you liked best? Is that why you chose two?

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  4. Kia ora Lochlan,
    Well done on creating this blogpost about your descriptive writing!
    Description is extremely important in writing because it helps your viewers visualise the story in their heads.
    Take these two sentences for example.
    ‘The man is cold at night’ and ‘The short, tired man is extremely cold late at night’
    Reading the sentence ‘The man is cold at night’ is a little bit bland and boring, but reading that exact same sentence with descriptions added in makes it sound 10x more exciting!
    I really like all of the descriptions you managed to incorporate into your writing. Some of my favourite adjectives that you used include the words creepy, stuffy, golden and gloomy.
    What is your favourite adjective that you used in your writing and why?
    I noticed in your first piece of writing that you included the metaphor ‘the fire is his candle’. This is fantastic as it is an excellent use of language features, so ka pai for your efforts!
    I also noticed that in the second piece of writing you mentioned how the old man wore old clothes. What other words could you use to describe his clothes?
    It would be awesome if you could reply to this comment and let me know!
    Keep up the great work!
    Nga mihi

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Thank you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comments.